There was a Chinese boy who, apart from being cute and warm-hearted inside, kept making fun of people
Line written by: Kasiia
Posted on: September 2, 2007
whose faces resembled a rhinocerous' butt. "Ha ha!" he would taunt, "you have a face like a rhino
Line written by: woab
Posted on: September 3, 2007
". He said that to himself but he knew ladies liked his big white teeth and good body.
Line written by: Kasiia
Posted on: September 3, 2007
He dreamed of doing great things and having Don Knotts playing him in the movie.
Line written by: Annie Nonnie Muss
Posted on: September 4, 2007
There was only one problem: he couldn't manage to co-operate with people because he was so mean!
Line written by: Kateriina
Posted on: September 5, 2007
This was due to the fact that he had no name, a cruel joke played upon him by his parents.
Line written by: woab
Posted on: September 5, 2007
But even they weren't laughing. "Wow, I glad we didn't also play no face joke too", said his mother.
Line written by: Sein und Zeit
Posted on: September 5, 2007
"Speak English all ready!" snapped the Chinese Boy, who knew full well that his parents were Britons.
Line written by: Precious Winkyhead
Posted on: September 6, 2007
"Veddy well then. Your name is 'About'," said the Chinese Boy's mother.
Line written by: Annie Nonnie Muss
Posted on: September 7, 2007
He savored his new name, About. 'President About', 'General About", 'Wing Leader About', he imagined
Line written by: Annie Nonnie Muss
Posted on: September 8, 2007
Lucy Liu whispering "I love you About", 'Not batting for the World Champion New York Yankees, About',
Line written by: Annie Nonnie Muss
Posted on: September 8, 2007
'You're needed quickly in the ER Dr. About', etc. Suddenly the imaginary screech of the needle being
Line written by: Annie Nonnie Muss
Posted on: September 8, 2007
haphazardly pulled off the record and he suddenly saw a houseworn Margeret Cho shouting "About, take
Line written by: Annie Nonnie Muss
Posted on: September 8, 2007
out the garbage and deliver that kung pao over to IBM, and don't mix them up again!" Oh well, at least
Line written by: Annie Nonnie Muss
Posted on: September 8, 2007
he had a name at last. That night About left his parent's home to make something of his new name.
Line written by: Annie Nonnie Muss
Posted on: September 8, 2007
But much as he hammered and sawed and pulled at it, he could not make much of it.
Line written by: Blangnard Stare
Posted on: September 10, 2007
So he started pushing and thrusting till he started screaming.
Line written by: Kasiia
Posted on: September 10, 2007
"A scream is shrillness Being", said a meditating Don Knotts behind About.
Line written by: Annie Nonnie Muss
Posted on: September 11, 2007
The Don Knotts appeared to be floating several inches off the floor in a lotus position.
Line written by: Woab
Posted on: September 11, 2007
About prostated himself at the feet of the Sage. "Tell me more Master."
Line written by: Annie Nonnie Muss
Posted on: September 11, 2007
"Reputation sometimes carries you while other timer carry it", said Don.
Line written by: Annie Nonnie Muss
Posted on: September 12, 2007
"Other timer?" said the boy. "What is the other timer? And what does it time?"
Line written by: Bingbong
Posted on: September 12, 2007
"You ask a lot of questions for a snot nosed kid who didn't have a name until yesterday" said Don.
Line written by: Sein und Zeit
Posted on: September 12, 2007
"My new name has given me renewed abnoxiousness, " said About with the zest of mischeif in his eyes
Line written by: woab
Posted on: September 13, 2007
Mischief was his new Tibetan girlfriend.
Line written by: Sein und Zeit
Posted on: September 16, 2007
"O great Don Knotts," About asked, "would you please perform a wedding for Mischeif and me?"
Line written by: woab
Posted on: September 17, 2007
Don Knotts withered face bent into a grin. "Of course I'll marry you kids," he said. "Do you, About,
Line written by: Big Fat Fannie
Posted on: September 18, 2007
take Mischief as your wife and me as your husband" "I do" answered About. Don fought back a tear.
Line written by: Sein und Zeit
Posted on: September 18, 2007
"And do you Mischief, take About and myself as your husbands?" "I guess" answered Mischief.
Line written by: Annie Nonnie Muss
Posted on: September 18, 2007
The Chinese boy watched with water-lily eyes.
Line written by: marcia
Posted on: September 18, 2007
"And I Don, take thee About and thee Mischief as my husband and wife. We may now kiss the bride."
Line written by: Annie Nonnie Muss
Posted on: September 19, 2007
Mischeif, of course, ducked and Don and About kissed eachother. "Ha ha!, I didn't consummate!" howled
Line written by: Ringeaux
Posted on: September 20, 2007
Mischief. "But we did" answered Don and About, both now flaccid.
Line written by: Sein und Zeit
Posted on: September 21, 2007
"Oh, you're no fun anymore!" complained Mischeif and filed for divorce from the two of them.
Line written by: woab
Posted on: September 21, 2007
However, the court denied her frivolous filing and told her she had 3 weeks to find a 3rd husband or
Line written by: Sein und Zeit
Posted on: September 21, 2007
she would forfeit the first two. Mischeif dashed out to the nearest singles' bar, desperate to hold
Line written by: woab
Posted on: September 24, 2007
on to her farce of a marriage. The nearest singles bar was really a sailor's dive full of salty tars
Line written by: Sein und Zeit
Posted on: September 24, 2007
and sweet nicotinia.
"I like this pace. It's homey," said Mischeif.
Line written by: Annie Nonnie Muss
Posted on: September 26, 2007
"Shipboard life is so hectic", explained Old Salty, "that we try to slow things down once we hit land."
Line written by: Sein und Zeit
Posted on: September 26, 2007
"Land ho!" called the bo'sun.
"Who you callin' a 'ho'?" squawked Mischeif.
Line written by: woab
Posted on: September 28, 2007
"Land ho is his pet sea cow", interjected the coxswain.
Line written by: Sein
Posted on: September 28, 2007
"Who you callin' a cow?" said Land ho, flapping her flippers indignantly.
Line written by: Annie Nonnie Muss
Posted on: October 1, 2007
"Your mother shouldn't have taken Thalidomide," said About, rather stupidly.
Line written by: woab
Posted on: October 2, 2007
"Oh, Husband #2, I didn't know you were here" said a nervous Mischief. "Where's #1?"
Line written by: Annie Nonnie Muss
Posted on: October 2, 2007
"He went to Santa Cruz to get a job as an apartment building manager. He'll send for us as soon as he
Line written by: Sein und Zeit
Posted on: October 5, 2007
loses his mind," said Old Salty.
"That shouldn't take long," murmured Mischeif.
Line written by: woa
Posted on: October 5, 2007
"Oh no, he's changed a lot since you tried to divorce us", said About sadly.
Line written by: Annie Nonnie Muss
Posted on: October 5, 2007
"What about you About, have you changed?"
Line written by: Annie Nonnie Muss
Posted on: October 12, 2007
"Damn you Mischief, not everything is about you" screamed About from behind the barricades.
Line written by: Sein und Zeit
Posted on: October 18, 2007
"Everything not about me must remain behind the barricades!" warned Mischeif.
Line written by: woab
Posted on: October 19, 2007
"Tarnation! With an attitude like that you're just begging for some trouble Mischief" said About.
Line written by: Sein und Zeit
Posted on: October 22, 2007
"But how can I be in trouble now that we're married?" asked Mischeif.
Line written by: woab
Posted on: October 23, 2007
"You don't know much about marriage, do you?" Old Salty remarked.
Line written by: cronopio
Posted on: October 25, 2007
"I meant that I'm pregnant, but since I have two husbands, the baby will be twice as legitimate as anyone else on Earth!" said Mischeif, very satisfied with her logic.
The sea-cow rolled it's eyes.
Line written by: Annie Nonnie Muss
Posted on: October 25, 2007
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Sometimes my mind races so quickly with ideas that I want to record and build off of that I simply don't have a chance to save them anywhere-- they are lost for eternity in the ethereal caverns of my mind, deep back in the filing cabinet, unlabeled. It would be an insurmountable task to try to record them all or expand them into more than the fragment that they are but to make an effort, I have decided to make this catalogue. Consider this the incomplete documentation of an original model of ... more
Sometimes my mind races so quickly with ideas that I want to record and build off of that I simply don't have a chance to save them anywhere-- they are lost for eternity in the ethereal caverns of my mind, deep back in the filing cabinet, unlabeled. It would be an insurmountable task to try to record them all or expand them into more than the fragment that they are but to make an effort, I have decided to make this catalogue. Consider this the incomplete documentation of an original model of ... more
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379 archived storiesA Random Story From the 2007 Archives
About a Chinese boy
About, a rather obnoxious Chinese boy, gains wisdom from a fish-faced guru, love from a mischeivous girl, and adventure on the high seas with some very strange beings with confusing names.
Started on September 2, 2007 and archived on
October 25, 2007
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December 21, 2009
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