One day, we will have another body to live in, Susan
Line written by: klara
Posted on: March 21, 2006
thought to herself. It would never happen. She was too lazy, but this didn't stop her from trying.
Line written by: Karla Kab
Posted on: March 22, 2006
She said to herself, "Time to shave off those bunions, whether I like it or not."
Line written by: Dexterious Jones
Posted on: March 30, 2006
Trouble was, she had left her shaving kit back at
Line written by: Clark Westfield
Posted on: March 30, 2006
the farm, where she had been shaving the chinny chin chins of the pigs. That was before her 3 hour tour
Line written by: Roland Smoakem
Posted on: March 30, 2006
which we know lasts a lifetime. Or, at least until the contract is up. And that's
Line written by: N. D. Skip R. Teu
Posted on: March 31, 2006
that's the way the cookie crumbles; that's the way the bee bumbles. And that's the way
Line written by: Dexterious Jones
Posted on: March 31, 2006
of all of the best spiritual leaders --none of whom can resists cookies.
Line written by: master rabbit ears
Posted on: April 7, 2006
ANNOUNCER: We interrupt this story for news of a cookie resistant holy person just discovered.
Line written by: May B. Knott
Posted on: April 12, 2006
CRHP: Hi, I'm the Cookie Resistant Holy Person. I was recently discovered by the Cookie Monster in
Line written by: Jay Ded
Posted on: April 15, 2006
the unused cement bunker at the end of the parking lot.
Line written by: B von Wease
Posted on: April 24, 2006
"Oh baby, what a play!" The announcer bellowed in his perfectly barritone voice.
Line written by: Frieda Beyuanme
Posted on: April 26, 2006
Susan winced. If there was one thing that made her absolutely murderous, it was
Line written by: cuthbert
Posted on: April 29, 2006
a knife in her hand and a corpse at her feet, which, as coincidence would have it, turned out to be
Line written by: Ben Twilly-Feilzfunnie
Posted on: May 1, 2006
Cody Christ, great-great-great-great (etc.) grandson of Jesus and Mary M. This could only mean
Line written by: Sir Surlyslick
Posted on: May 2, 2006
beans for breakfast. "Oh Jesus, not again!" protested Susan. Cody complained, "Don't us grandpap's name
Line written by: Beatrice Kitbeacraker
Posted on: May 3, 2006
and--" But this jibberish was promptly cut off by a swift punch to the gut, which in this announcer's opinion
Line written by: Eugene Zargivin-Yuawedgy
Posted on: May 4, 2006
looked completely pulled.
Line written by: Annie Nonnie Muss
Posted on: May 26, 2006
"I'd like to pull a woman," announced the announcer announcingly. "Pulled pork," Cookie randomly said.
Line written by: Dusty Bootz
Posted on: May 31, 2006
At that point, someone attempted to add-a-line and for no reason whatsoever, it DIDN'T work!
Line written by: James
Posted on: June 13, 2006
"Did ya try turning it off and on again?" asked customer support when he complained. "I did, but she
Line written by: A. Fred O'Dadarc
Posted on: June 29, 2006
unplugged it and put it on the roof. Then it started to
Line written by: shiny
Posted on: July 12, 2006
obey the law of gravity as well as the laws of consanguinity for the Commonwealth of Kentucky.
Line written by: Sein und Zeit
Posted on: July 14, 2006
But Cookie could almost smell how tainted the bloodline had become.
Line written by: Annie Nonnie Muss
Posted on: July 17, 2006
"This'll make a poor pudding," she thought to herself. Just then the angel of
Line written by: Figment McGee
Posted on: July 18, 2006
pancakes flew in through the window and told her, "I know what you need."
Line written by: Annie Nonnie Muss
Posted on: July 18, 2006
His real name was Tim Rose but he was called Pancake because of a skin condition on his face that
Line written by: Sein und Zeit
Posted on: July 19, 2006
made Susan wish she had an industrial strength spatula handy. She would frequently have
Line written by: Hooligan
Posted on: July 19, 2006
spaz attacks as she passed the Aunt Jemima batter factory, which would only be quelled when
Line written by: Woab
Posted on: July 21, 2006
the butter supply ran out but this would only happen when
Line written by: Captain Napolm
Posted on: July 23, 2006
camels would sing the song "Camptown Races". But the camels had larangitis that morning
Line written by: Hannah
Posted on: July 25, 2006
and asked the announcer to sing it for them.
Line written by: Woab
Posted on: July 26, 2006
He began, "She's the daughter of Rosie 'Grady, a regular old fashioned girl...\" Susan cried, "No! No!
Line written by: Lilly Padde
Posted on: July 27, 2006
I am a punk rock supermodel, dammit!" But it was too late. Pancake had all ready fallen in love with
Line written by: Wendy O Williams
Posted on: July 28, 2006
the evil Voice Over Girl, the arch-nemesis of the Announcer. Pancake knew that she was just using
Line written by: Sein und Zeit
Posted on: July 29, 2006
Susan as a servant. So she made her wear a green apron and some really tacky shorts.
Line written by: Hannah
Posted on: August 4, 2006
"I am SO going to quit this job after I get my paycheck!" Susan fumed.
Line written by: Dremblewedge
Posted on: August 8, 2006
But that day would never come. her bunions would never be shaved and Tim "the pancake" Rose would never rescue her. For you see, this desert island was ...the ceck-out line at Wal-Mart!
Line written by: Grumblepants
Posted on: August 10, 2006
Check out more of the 371 original works in our
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1 message(s) todaymost recent post
posted: 07/04/2009 00:23am
by: PS
by: PS
Ken, I will send the video to you via e-mail. It's not really important, but let me know how it goes. I have played the song from sent messages, and haven't had a problem. Otherwise, let's forget it until Pork Chop is around after the holiday.
Never East of Ninth - Chapter 9
Discussing how Dean discovers the truth about Sal’s suicide art, and the world falls into darkness, and then the conclusion to our story.
Download a print version of Chapter 9 (MS Word format)
Sidney arrived home to find a note from Sal; he would be meeting them at the museum for the show that evening as he was running late. She ate her dinner silently and then headed over to the museum,... more
Discussing how Dean discovers the truth about Sal’s suicide art, and the world falls into darkness, and then the conclusion to our story.
Download a print version of Chapter 9 (MS Word format)
Sidney arrived home to find a note from Sal; he would be meeting them at the museum for the show that evening as he was running late. She ate her dinner silently and then headed over to the museum,... more
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clock radio pimped out. A gift tart stood waiting for him in the vestibule with a pair of unknown
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- noun, A brass instrument. A modified bugle, having a smaller mouthpiece and a long, curved bell, it is placed between the legs and played rectally.
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326 archived storiesA Random Story From the 2006 Archives
the desert island
Ah- the desert island; a classic metaphore for Man's (or in this case, Susan's) isolation in the vast sea of life's mostly useless information. So where does one seek enlightenment? Is it in the holy state of self-denial? And what self-denial could be greater than denying one's self the presence of the holy? Holy crap! This is one cryptic synopsis, eh? Tell no-one the ending!
Started on March 21, 2006 and archived on
August 10, 2006
Delicious News
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April 17, 2009
New Artwork
Delicious Demon welcomes Emma Coleman to the Art Gallery with 11 new works in oil and pencil.
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April 17, 2009
New Artwork
Three new pieces by Paula Young have been posted to the art gallery.